100 thoughts in 5 min.

So in less then an hour I'm starting ABC. Great. Can't wait.
Today was a nice day.
I drank a lot , though , some vine , a little tecila.
I've managed to see bought of my boyfriends today. The First one I saw 3 times today and the other one just once. I love the first one but I love having fun with the other : )
I've put my sisters baby to sleep after I've fed him with milk.
I'm going to put my stats tomorrow and my new goals.
I'm having my last smoke right now.
I've had my last high calorie meal today.
I'm thinking on posting about the fastest way to lose weight tomorrow.
I'm counting the last min. until the new year starts.
And just to say Happy New Year!!!
My N.Y.Wish is that we all be happy and lose some weight....
Love you all
Stay strong
Be Thin
Be pure
Be all bones
See you
L.M.S.
p.s. I'll post my picture progres every week.

New Year Wish

I'm happy to say that I have decided that I'm going to go on ABC the next year. And that's not all. I have decided that I'm going to stop smoking , too.

So , the upcoming year will be full of challenges. It will be hard but it will be worth it.

But that is enough about  future, now lets talk about this last day of the current year. I feel better every day. I'm still at 118 lbs , but at list I'm not gaining any weight.

Today I worked like hell cleaning , cooking and that kind of stuff. But today isn't over so I'll probably do some more cleaning. See you soon .

Good day if I can say. Feeling better now. The new pills are working great....
No more school untill 17th of January.
 I'm in a good mood. How are you doing? I think that no one is reading my posts but if somebody does come across  it I want them to know that I would be glad to hear about them, to know how are they doing and feeling and to try to help them if I can. It can be a tip or just a sholder to cry on. You can talk to me.
I wanted you to know , I'm not all about ED. It is a big part of my life and even my thoughts but I have a life beyond my eating disorder and I know about a lot of stuff. ED is not my life even if I am what I am because of it. I'll post more later on.
Have a nice day.
Stay strong.
Feel good.
Be pure.
L.M.S.

Purification

Only the one that is pure as water and light as air can see the true beauty of life!

Today I feel good about myself. I didn't eat anything bad and didn't have any fights. I'm glade it worked out, I mean todays intake plan and the emotion control plan... I was bellow 100kcal. Eat a little of stewed green beans for lunch and cabbage soup for dinner.
Plan to continue to eat bellow 300kcal untill New Year....
Stay strong
Feel good
Feel pure
L.M.S.

Sisters Fight

I am angry right now. Rules are made to be broken , right , but some rules are just vital so we could save a little peace of our own. I do not have any privacy. I share my room with my mom so my older sister could move back to our place (my room) with her husband and son. My other sister (the oldest) has her own room and is a pain in the ass. So, yeah I share my room with mom and others cause our room is the living room. We made this rule so we could have a little "privacy" that no one can come to our room after 11pm , and guess what.. My pain in the ass sister doesn't even care to ask me to stay longer. So I asked my mother in a gentle mather to tell her to leave te room and I end up listening to my mom how I am a bitch and I ruined her day , and yeah the sister stays in the room.  I didn't yell and didn't try to fight them. I just left the room , gone to the bathroom, hitted the wall with my hand , gone back downstairs and had a smoke. It didn't really help but I didn't know what other to do. I decided to post an entry on my blog and try not to listen to their laugh and talk.
p.s. Been to the doctor today , she said that I have pneumonia so yeah I'm kind off really really sick right now. 
See you tomorrow
Happy Christmas Eve !!
Stay Strong
Little Miss Silent

Hell with the sickness

I'm sick again, sick like hell, not that it's a new thing. I'm just sick of being sick and being tied to the bed. This has a big impact on my school grades and I am disappointed. I just finished rising some of my grades and I got sick and had to stop going to school. I think I have pneumonia , but my doctor never tells me my diagnosis. She described me some pills that are used in recovery from pneumonia , but that doesn't really mean that I have it. Can't wait to get better. Today is all about eating cabbage soup and lossing some weight. I will take some vitamines so I could faster get well, but nothing else.
P.s. My post is about sickness because it's a mask for my family that love to sit around me when I'm blogging and read the first two sentences. I want to cry , but I can't . I just heared that my grandfather is dying. I love him and I am sad but I just can't bring myself to cry. Why are my eyes dry? When did I become so heartless?

Love Triangle

I've been with this guy for an year and a half and we hade our ups and downs. He was my first in everything : kiss, sex, love,..  We had broken up a few times and than got together again. But once, the first time we broke up, we weren't together for two weeks and in that two weeks I managed to huck up with one briliant guy and slept with him. When I got back together with the first guy , I ended my relationship with the second guy. But , a month ago I started dating the second guy again. And now I'm dating with them bought. I love the first guy ,but I'm in love with the second. I know I can't be with them bought , but I can't chose.

The first is exacty that THE FIRST, and we are so close..so close that we are planing to live together after highschool, and I have met his parents and I liked them as much as they liked me.. and I would do everything for him, and I understand him, and I can imagine my life with him.. But still we are not for each other. We do not like the same stuff, we don't have the same interests, his older than me (7years), we fight a lot, we don't know to talk with each other , don't know to chill with each other, he's a little country and I'm a big city girl, I'm ambicious and he's not... The only thing that is keeping us together is our sick closeness and our love and don't mind me saying great sex. The second guy is more like me, we have a lot of chemistry going on , we know how to talk and chill together, we know to have fun together, he's like my taddy bear... I like him a lot and I love being with him. The only thing that is in our way to be the most beautiful couple is my love for the first guy. So , I'm giving myself time to see who do I want more : The First or The Second....

Cabbage Soup Weightloss Diet

Basically this is a fast diet plan that risses you metabolism rate and you end up losing a big amount of fat in a short period of time.
Cabbage contains a little amount of calories so you end up burning more calories by digesting cabbage than you have eaten. Beside than, cabbage detoxicates your body and that is a big + !!! While eating cabbage soup you apsorb a big amout of water that makes you feel full and helps with burning fat.
*** If you eat the cabbage soup cold, you bring your weightloss to a higher level 'cause your body burns more calories by worming it up.
All you need is a strong will , cabbage, water and some solt .

Miss Silent Herself

There are no good first posts, nor good theme for that mather , but there always will be some good reasons , words that pirce through the flesh of the readers rather than the person who wroth them. Didn't you noticed that you were always more moved by the words of others rather than your own? Rethorical question.

Little Miss Silent might be the best nick name to describe me, the true me. I don't act like that really , but my loud and hatefull fights are just an act I put up so no one can see me. Why? Cause no one wants to see me for what I am. My own flesh and blood doesn't like me, but don't take me wrong , they do love me, but don't love who I am.
My life is a play and I live to act in it. 
My true me is a writter , an artist. I love writting stories. They are my way of escape from the pain or rather a way to embrace it. I drain my ideas from my feelings, my ED, and sometimes from the situations that I've been through.
I do have an eating disorder (EDNOS) and I learned to live with it and how couldn't I when I have it for five years now.  I did have my deal of recovery , but it just isn't for me. I'm okay now, if I can say that. This is my life, the way I live it and I don't regret it.